We took on the daunting task of debunking the myths about post-wedding sex that have become part of the stereotyped mindset of many brides.
Myth #1
After marriage, scheduled sex awaits you: and it’s not as spontaneous and exciting as in an open relationship.
You begin to live together, each of you has your own schedule, your own work, your own life principles, and rules. There are moments where the areas of your life intersect – and it is in these areas of intersection that contact occurs. It can be visual, tactful, auditory, or physical.
Be prepared: there will be days in your life when it’s hard to make time for sex.
Marriage is not living in a fairy tale when you spend every day together and keep an eye on each other. Rather, on the contrary: you will have a desire to sleep separately from time to time, spend evenings on your own, and pay attention to the development of your personality. Psychologists say that after marriage, some moments in sex will be automatically lost:
“Sex after marriage is the same as before marriage. Unless you no longer have this exciting feeling of waiting for each other, special excitement, like the first time. But you need to work on the sexual aspect of family life: role-playing games, exciting messages, non-standard places for sex … You have to surprise and be surprised yourself that you, it turns out, are capable of this!
Moral: Sex after marriage is no different from sex before marriage. Only if one of the two of you is not gnawed by a sense of responsibility for an already legalized serious relationship.
Myth #2
Your husband just needs sex in any circumstances. It is sex, as a mechanical process and the fulfillment of marital duty.
Again, let’s remember how we debunked the previous myth about sex after marriage: you start living together and the daily routine of each of you intersects in certain planes. Admit it, you get tired at work? And your husband is probably tired too. And, trust us, if the sex happens so fast that you don’t even have time to blink an eye (sometimes it happens), don’t rush to get upset. Your husband is not comfortable with this either.
Reason for increased speed: Is he tired at work? Worried about work? Wants to sleep?
Perhaps we will agree that the reason “wants to sleep” is not considered by women as a worthy reason. But try to put yourself in the place of your husband: you both want to sleep, and it would not be very good to fall in the eyes of your wife. But catching two birds with one stone at once is quite problematic.
Moral: if sex after marriage reminds you of a mechanical process or, even worse, it seems to you that you are being used, try not to accept the failures of a man (and we are talking about failures that also happen to you, for example, when you imitate an orgasm) to your account.
He doesn’t worry every time you pretend that you feel good, secretly offended that he fell a little short?
Myth #3
You should always look as perfect in bed as on your wedding night after the wedding. Otherwise, everything is gone.
Believe me: it is not so important for men how perfectly shaved their legs are. Men most often simply do not pay attention to the little things that are so important to women. Why?
Try to imagine a lion who has mounted his lioness. How important is it to him what insects are sitting on it now? This is the most striking example of the fact that men do not care. We compare them with lions because both the first and the second are equally strong, stubborn, and courageous.
Psychologists say that women themselves come up with problems for themselves after the wedding:
“If a woman’s body changes, then she blames herself for it. If a man is willing to undress her and have sex in the light, a woman may ask to turn off the lights because she is embarrassed about her body and ashamed of how she looks in her nakedness. But for a man this is not so important: he just wants his lawful and only wife.
Moral: even after marriage, your husband thinks you are the most beautiful woman. After all, he is responsible for his choice. And do not worry so much about your body: just go to the gym and start watching your figure.
