Marriage is such a relationship between partners that requires tireless work on yourself and on these very relationships. Cheating, on the other hand, signals to us that this work is not sufficient on both sides, that relations have ceased to develop, there is no longer any excitement and trembling between spouses. Stagnation and routine are addictive, and that bright feeling that led to marriage is buried in them.
But the one who values the relationship with a partner can try to save them from betrayal. Although no psychologist will give you a 100% guarantee in this matter, it’s worth a try.
To understand the reasons that encourage spouses to have an affair on the side, you need to start from the fact that men and women are very different in nature, and therefore the factors pushing on the path of infidelity are different. If a man most often changes physically, then emotions are important for a woman.
Factors that encourage men to change:
1. Sex. And not only because men are polygamous. For many, sex on the side becomes a breath of fresh air in a series of everyday problems. Work – home – life – children – wife. And this monotony, in his opinion, can be interrupted by an affair without obligations. And also, if the wife always has a “headache”, the man will sooner or later decide to change.
2. Unsuccessful family life. Constant quarrels, wife’s tantrums, unsolvable problems make him turn his gaze to the “left”. A new romance with a novelty of sensations, lost control over the situation feeds his male ego and makes it possible to feel like the master of the situation again.
3. Don Juan at its core. Such men are sure that romance on the side is a component of marriage. And if before marriage he adhered to such a credo, then you should not expect that after marriage he will change.
Factors that encourage women to change:
1. Emotions that are missing in the marriage. The same routine of family life does not encourage a husband to show attention, care, and tenderness to his wife. She is looking for all this in a relationship on the side.
2. Middle age. By cheating after the age of 35, a woman tries to convince herself that she, as in her youth, is beautiful, attractive, and desirable.
3. Crisis in relations with a spouse. If a woman suspects her husband of treason or is sure of it, then often she has a desire to take revenge.
Having understood the reasons that push a partner to cheat, you can build your own line of behavior and tactics to prevent these undesirable phenomena. This tactic is based on the firm conviction that there is no betrayal in families where harmony and love, complete mutual understanding and trust reign.
Important Findings
1. Don’t make sex a marital duty. If the passion has cooled down, rekindle it yourself. Feel free to talk frankly with your spouse, find out what turns you both on. If everything is going well in your bed, there is unlikely to be a need to change.
2. Do not suspect or invent reasons for jealousy.
3. Respect your partner and support him (her) in hobbies, interests, work, and worries.
4. Pay attention to your appearance, the atmosphere in the relationship. Make plans for the future together and dream.
5. Find time to spend together outside the walls. At least once a year go on a joint vacation away from civilization, to nature
6. Be responsive and attentive to each other. Don’t let pride and unnecessary principles ruin your relationship.
But what if there is no evidence of a spouse’s betrayal, but you feel it?
– do not refuse sex;
– do not disturb the rhythm and routine of life;
– do not start a conversation about treason;
– loosen control over the life of your spouse, give him maximum freedom;
– play on contrasts: increase your employment and become autonomous in relation to your spouse;
– contact a family psychologist.
Remember that infidelity does not happen, you need to diversify your joint daily and sexual life.
