Raising children is difficult to imagine without punishments and prohibitions. It is they who set the limits of what is permitted. How to find the golden mean of influence: not to overdo it, but also not to show excessive softness? What kind of punishment will be useful, and what measures should not be resorted to even in the most extreme case? Let’s figure it out together.
When punishing a child, parents often feel guilty. Is it right to leave your daughter without dessert because of defiant behavior? Is it possible to take away a mobile phone from a son if it interferes with his homework? No matter how sorry you feel for the baby, it is important to understand: defining the boundaries of what is permitted is a parental duty. The absence of restrictions and punishments is harmful not only for your nervous system but also for the development of the child.
At what age should educational conversations and punishments be introduced?
It is necessary to explain to the child what is possible and what is not possible from the first years of life. At a minimum, this is necessary for the safety of the baby: as soon as the child begins to move freely, let him understand what cannot be done without adults. Agree, it is unlikely that you and your husband will think of allowing your little son to go out onto the balcony alone. In addition, permissiveness adversely affects the psychological development of the child. Leaving a bad deed unpunished encourages your child to try it again.
How to talk to a child, punish him?
In any situation, keep a respectful attitude towards your son or daughter. In no case should a child be humiliated, ridiculed, spanked, and threatened that they will no longer love him. Your words should confirm the importance of the prohibitions established and explained to the baby. Try to orient the child in the structure of the world, in relationships. With your help, he must learn to anticipate the consequences of his actions and feel responsible for them.
If the child has made a mistake, explain how to correct it. Messed up – clean it up, offended – ask for forgiveness. When it comes to more serious misconduct (for example, systematic absenteeism from school ), talk heart to heart with the baby. Often the defiant behavior is a hidden cry for help.
When scolding a child for any misconduct, observe three main points:
- Calmness and firmness. Don’t throw a temper tantrum. All that a naughty child needs is a clear and unambiguous condemnation of his misconduct.
- According to the rules. Punishment is fair only if you have previously explained to the baby what is possible and what is not. It is wrong to scold a child for non-compliance with those rules that he simply did not know about.
- It’s not the child that’s bad, but his actions. It is impossible to deprive a son or daughter of love. The fact that you punish a child does not mean that he is unloved. Regardless of the circumstances, the baby should always be sure of your warm attitude, count on your support.
