Having reached adolescence, some children believe that they have already lived enough in the world and received the necessary knowledge. And all these cosines are divorced from real life and are unlikely to be useful in the future.

To convince a teenager that learning is not only cramming, but the task is also almost impossible. It is better to compromise and agree that it is not necessary to get fives in all subjects.

How to convince a teenager to study?

Calmly talk to your teenager about where he sees himself in the future. Let his ideas about a good profession be very different from yours, but you don’t need to convince him – most likely, in a year he will change his mind. Try to show how the content of each subject relates to the chosen work. For example, a master in a tattoo parlor needs not only to draw well but also to know biology and chemistry in case of allergic reactions. And also – mathematics to calculate the profitability of the salon, computer science to create commercials yourself.

Agree with him that you will not demand good grades in all subjects – if he himself chooses the two or three most necessary ones and tries to study them perfectly.

In a relaxed atmosphere, tell some real-life stories that show that a lack of knowledge can seriously harm a career and deprive a person of some prospects.

Smooth adaptation

Many children are so relaxed after a long summer that they can’t get themselves together and switch to work mode. A gradual change in the daily routine will help to adapt.

Don’t let your child go to bed after 10 pm. So he will quickly get used to the need to get up for the first lesson.

Remember that at the last parent-teacher meeting, the teacher asked to improve English, algebra or chemistry, and find a tutor for a teenager so that he can study with him several times during the week. Then studying in high school will not turn out to be a lot of stress for him.

Ask your son or daughter to clean up your workplace – sort out drawers, shelves with school supplies to put things in order. By shifting books, the child will one way or another tune into a working mood and will be able to immerse himself in learning faster.

1. Without eternal expectations

Eternal love and ideality in everything are no longer expected from the second man. There comes an understanding that everyone has their own shortcomings, and even the moral readiness to coexist with them.

 2. Clarity of vision

In general, you already understand your own desires much better, you already have your own clear positions on all points of life together, and not just a vague “so that everything is like in a fairy tale.” This makes life easier and more logical.

3. Compromise

Knowing in practice that relationships are a fragile thing, and getting out of them is not the most painless process, you try not to bring it to the point where the accumulated problems pour over your heads like a waterfall. Talking and finding out is a skill that is most often developed in second marriage!

 4. Without unnecessary emotions

The second marriage, most likely, will no longer be so emotional. But he will certainly be more prosperous in terms of household arrangements and peace of mind. And it’s natural.

 5. Without tragedy and drama

If the second marriage suddenly for some reason does not work out, you will no longer be killed as much as the first time. You already know that it is quite possible to survive – and then it can be even more interesting!

A fairy tale is one of the genres of folklore and literature and has been known to mankind since the beginning of time. This usually magical text with a happy ending has always been read and passed from mouth to mouth, and only recently it has become clear that a fairy tale can act as an element of psychotherapy.

How useful is fairy tale therapy?

It turns out that immersion in a fairy tale can solve a number of issues in children and adults.

First, fairy tale therapy performs an educational function. With the help of a fairy tale, the child learns patterns and norms of behavior, morality. The educational goal with the help of reading fairy tales was pursued in ancient times, and then the legends were truly passed on from mouth to mouth.

Secondly, immersion in a fairy tale, listening to and supplementing the narration, a person develops attention, creativity, and imagination. These mechanisms work not only in children but also in adults. Therefore, it is not uncommon for a psychotherapist to use reading fairy tales during his sessions.

And thirdly, we can talk about fairy tale therapy as full-fledged psychotherapy if a person is completely immersed in the created fairy tale, there are fictional characters, the action of the fairy tale moves according to a given scenario. With full immersion in the game, fairy tale therapy has a healing effect.

Psychologist’s comment

“An interactive fairy tale is an example of drama therapy in action, where the fairy tale is staged and played by the participants themselves. They immerse themselves in the game, and not just watch it, live through various emotions, play different roles, overcome fear, break taboos, thereby gaining a new experience of interacting with themselves and the world. At the unconscious level, internal and social conflicts are resolved, freedom of expression appears, ”says child psychotherapist Alena Voloshenyuk.

Fairy tale therapy is useful for both children and their parents. And it has a particularly beneficial effect on children who have experienced traumatic situations.

You can see the effect of fairy tale therapy in the Winter Country (Kyiv, Academician Glushkov Ave., 1) in the Gulyandia pavilion. Every 40 minutes, the interactive fairy tale “Wonderful Journey” begins here.

Marriage is such a relationship between partners that requires tireless work on yourself and on these very relationships. Cheating, on the other hand, signals to us that this work is not sufficient on both sides, that relations have ceased to develop, there is no longer any excitement and trembling between spouses. Stagnation and routine are addictive, and that bright feeling that led to marriage is buried in them.

But the one who values ​​​​the relationship with a partner can try to save them from betrayal. Although no psychologist will give you a 100% guarantee in this matter, it’s worth a try.

To understand the reasons that encourage spouses to have an affair on the side, you need to start from the fact that men and women are very different in nature, and therefore the factors pushing on the path of infidelity are different. If a man most often changes physically, then emotions are important for a woman.

Factors that encourage men to change:

1. Sex. And not only because men are polygamous. For many, sex on the side becomes a breath of fresh air in a series of everyday problems. Work – home – life – children – wife. And this monotony, in his opinion, can be interrupted by an affair without obligations. And also, if the wife always has a “headache”, the man will sooner or later decide to change.

2. Unsuccessful family life. Constant quarrels, wife’s tantrums, unsolvable problems make him turn his gaze to the “left”. A new romance with a novelty of sensations, lost control over the situation feeds his male ego and makes it possible to feel like the master of the situation again.

3. Don Juan at its core. Such men are sure that romance on the side is a component of marriage. And if before marriage he adhered to such a credo, then you should not expect that after marriage he will change.

Factors that encourage women to change:

1. Emotions that are missing in the marriage. The same routine of family life does not encourage a husband to show attention, care, and tenderness to his wife. She is looking for all this in a relationship on the side.

2. Middle age. By cheating after the age of 35, a woman tries to convince herself that she, as in her youth, is beautiful, attractive, and desirable.

3. Crisis in relations with a spouse. If a woman suspects her husband of treason or is sure of it, then often she has a desire to take revenge.

Having understood the reasons that push a partner to cheat, you can build your own line of behavior and tactics to prevent these undesirable phenomena. This tactic is based on the firm conviction that there is no betrayal in families where harmony and love, complete mutual understanding and trust reign.

Important Findings

1. Don’t make sex a marital duty. If the passion has cooled down, rekindle it yourself. Feel free to talk frankly with your spouse, find out what turns you both on. If everything is going well in your bed, there is unlikely to be a need to change.

2. Do not suspect or invent reasons for jealousy.

3. Respect your partner and support him (her) in hobbies, interests, work, and worries.

4. Pay attention to your appearance, the atmosphere in the relationship. Make plans for the future together and dream.

5. Find time to spend together outside the walls. At least once a year go on a joint vacation away from civilization, to nature

6. Be responsive and attentive to each other. Don’t let pride and unnecessary principles ruin your relationship.

But what if there is no evidence of a spouse’s betrayal, but you feel it?

– do not refuse sex;

– do not disturb the rhythm and routine of life;

– do not start a conversation about treason;

– loosen control over the life of your spouse, give him maximum freedom;

– play on contrasts: increase your employment and become autonomous in relation to your spouse;

– contact a family psychologist.

Remember that infidelity does not happen, you need to diversify your joint daily and sexual life.

Psychologists have named the main reason for the collapse of many marriages, having conducted a large-scale study. The results of the study were published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. It turned out that the main reason for the breakdown of relations was the unjustified expectations of partners and excessive demands on each other.

Experts from Florida State University conducted a study among newlyweds and found that the higher the demands partners put on each other, the more often the relationship is doomed to break. For example, many young people entering into marriage expect that the husband or wife will invest maximum attention and care in the relationship, as well as always support each other. But if this does not happen, the spouses are disappointed.

Burda Media

The study involved 135 newlywed couples who underwent special testing to assess expectations from marriage, relationship satisfaction and identify the main problems in the family. In addition, couples were also able to express their opinions about expectations from marriage, all of which were recorded on video. Four years later, a second survey was conducted, couples were asked the same questions.

In the end, experts came to the conclusion that when entering into marriage, most of the participants initially had inflated demands and expectations for each other. And if they were not justified, misunderstandings began, leading to conflicts. Psychologists believe that by making demands on a partner, a person is thus trying to compensate for the lack of some of his own resources.

But in the end, partners are faced with unjustified expectations, which later develop into deep resentment and lead to separation. Most likely, most of them initially imagine marriage as a happy, cloudless cohabitation. However, in practice this is not the case, so psychologists recommend initially not to build illusions about the nature of the partner and not to place too many demands and expectations on him.

Family life without compromise is impossible, and in order for harmony to reign in the house, it would be good for each of the spouses to master this art perfectly. American psychologists offer to try in practice 5 simple but effective ways.

Method 1. “Let’s do it your way now, but next time we will take into account my opinion”

Both partners get what they want, but not immediately, but in turn. This weekend, the family goes to her husband’s parents, and the next – go to the theater. A great way to achieve harmony in relationships!

Important! Too scrupulous accounting spoils this way of solving problems.

Method 2. “Who does – he decides”

Leon Seltzer, an American psychologist at Cleveland State University, gave a simple example: if a husband goes shopping, he makes a list and chooses a store himself.

Important! Be prepared for the fact that he forgets something or spends too much time and/or money: this is his right – the right of the one who does.

Method 3. “Let’s test my idea in two weeks”

For example, you want to manage the family budget differently, but your husband is skeptical. Offer to try your plan for two weeks, and promise that if your idea proves too expensive or inconvenient, you will revert to the old version.

Important! Men, as a rule, do not like change and theorizing. It is best to convince them in practice.

Method 4. “Do it for me and I will do something for you”

You think in vain that “bargaining is inappropriate” in family relationships. In fact, this is how you can agree on important things for both of you. If a partner knows that you are ready to do something for him (voice it in advance!), he will be more inclined to meet you halfway in an important matter for you.

Important! Never reproach your partner for being forced to do something for him: in this case, it is voluntary readiness that is valued.

Method 5. “Let’s remove the cause of the conflict”

Often those who quarrel do not even think about it but in vain! For example, you both do not like to clean the apartment. You can quarrel regularly, set a watch, etc. Or you can once again gather strength and make repairs and redevelopment in order to make cleaning as easy as possible. Give up decorative knickknacks, remove pillows and other “dust collectors”, solve the problem of clothes scattered over armchairs with the help of wardrobes. Even if you are not too fond of the minimalist style in the interior, it is better to give up design solutions in exchange for resolving the conflict.

Important! Even in this case, the apartment will have to be cleaned, but now it will be much easier to negotiate this with a partner.

In March, the Institute of Pediatrics, Obstetrics, and Gynecology of Ukraine completed a clinical study of the relationship between nutrition and the development of a child’s mental processes. The observation of experts over the diet of second-grade students lasted three months. As a result of the experiment, it has been proven that regular use of Omega-3 improves the most important psychological processes from 15% to 30%.

Daily consumption of dairy products with Omega-3 helps to improve the mental development of the child up to 30%, Ukrainian doctors came to such conclusions.

For three months, Institute experts monitored the diet of 69 second grade students of an ordinary Kyiv lyceum: 35 students daily consumed dairy products with Omega-3 instead of the usual dairy products, 34 students received a standard diet.
Children of primary school age who lack Omega-3 suffer from hyperactivity, attention deficit disorder.

Pupils in grades 9-11 of the Kyiv school, according to the results of the Isaac IQ test, showed an IQ of 98.6 + _1.9 versus 116.7 + _1.8 for those whose diet was balanced with omega-3 content (data from a study by the Institute conducted in 2009).

In Ukraine, today there is one line of dairy products that contain essential Omega-3, as well as vitamin D, which promotes the absorption of calcium and participates in the processes of mineralization of teeth, bones, and muscles – Loko Moko dairy products: yogurts and cottage cheese desserts.

The effective implementation of a simple idea in Loko Moko products allows parents to solve the problem of lack of Omega-3 in their daily diet and be sure that their child will benefit from snacking.

Expert Nutrition Tips for Parents of School Children:

1. The reasons for the imbalance of the children’s diet are by no means always explained by the possibilities of the family budget. The key rules of healthy nutrition are always relevant: teach your child to drink more ordinary water, have a hearty breakfast, eat more natural products (for example, lean meat instead of sausages), vegetables, and fruits (instead of sweet pastries and confectionery). Do not forget about fatty acids that are not synthesized by the body on their own, the vitamin complex;

2. Parents should understand that regular physical activity is a critical component of the harmonious development of the child, and from childhood instill in him a love for sports and an active lifestyle;

3. Children often copy the behavior of their parents and accept the rules of the family a priori. Therefore, you should not just persuade the child to eat right, it is better to show this by your own example, and then following the rules of a healthy lifestyle will be easy and fast.

Hysteria in a child is a common phenomenon. Many parents are faced with this problem and most often try to cope with the child’s emotional outbursts in a categorical way: rudely pull, scream or ignore him at this moment. But, as practice shows, these methods are ineffective. What to do?

An adult, in order to understand and “influence” his child, needs to understand how the child’s brain works.

What for? Misunderstandings between adults and children often occur because we think differently. In adults, logical thinking prevails, while children are more emotional and figurative thinking prevails in them. The right hemisphere of the brain is responsible for imaginative thinking.

Why are we given the right hemisphere? The right hemisphere is responsible for emotions, imagination, dreams. The left hemisphere is for operations with numbers, logic, speech. Between the hemispheres is the corpus callosum, which consists of many nerve fibers, through these fibers, there is a “communication” of the two halves of the brain. Thanks to this knowledge, we can help the child “switch” from one hemisphere to another. How can this be done? And most importantly, for what?

“Join” method

Imagine a situation: late in the evening, the child does not want to go to bed, is naughty, and throws a tantrum. What do we do in such cases? Most often we say: “it’s late now, get up early tomorrow, you need to get a good night’s sleep, etc.” We are trying to reach out to our beloved, but such a harmful baby with the help of logical arguments. We “knock-knock”, but he does not hear! Why? The answer is simple. At the moment of hysteria, the child’s right hemisphere is involved, which is responsible for emotions, therefore, when logical arguments are given to him, the child hears them, understands them, but does not accept them. In such a situation, the picture looks something like the famous song sings: “You are on land, I am on the sea … we will not meet in any way.” What should be done at this moment? How to help a child?

Many parents intuitively feel what to do in such a situation. They approach the child, sit down with him, hug him. There is an “attachment” to the right hemisphere of the brain, which is responsible for emotions. At this moment, the child realizes that he is understood, and if he is understood, then he is accepted. I would like to pay tribute to the parents who do just that. They may not fully understand why they behave this way, but this is the wisest step of a parent towards a child. From a scientific point of view, it is also the most effective step in a situation where the child’s right hemisphere is involved. A few minutes in such a stay allows the child to calm down. When the child calms down, he can already think logically. At this moment, the parent can work with the baby’s left hemisphere, listen to his arguments, think about optimal problem-solving.

We all want our children to grow up educated, smart, and achieve success in life. And even if we know exactly WHAT exactly we want to lay in the “foundation” of education, we often do not know HOW to do it.

“Children do not like instructions and lectures, they want to see your actions, not listen to your words,” Mother Teresa taught. And she was right! Children notice all our words and actions and immediately adopt them.

Money account loves

The right attitude to money must be taught. The child sees how bookkeeping is done in the family, but it is not a fact that this will become an example for him. When he gets his first pocket money, he spends it on things he doesn’t get from his parents, because kids want nice little things.

What are we doing? It is better not to overdo it either with economy and excessive severity or with extravagance and permissiveness. The latter completely deprives future businessmen and managers of motivation and striving for success. Children should be encouraged to have the strength and desire to do things on their own. If you chose money as a reward, back it up with words. For example: “You helped me a lot with this job. I’m so grateful to you.” Ask if the child had enough cash to buy what he wanted to buy. If not, offer to save. Promise that you will contribute to the piggy bank if he performs well.

Important! Supervise the process of issuing and spending pocket money. The carrot and stick method is as old as the world, but it works. At the same time, perhaps the most effective punishment is the lack of encouragement.

Filtering Conversations!

You are great: spend a lot of time with loved ones. Family dinners have become a tradition, the spouse unquestioningly washes the dishes. Most conversations revolve around work, friends, acquaintances and relatives. And … here lies another danger: we do not really follow what we say. Meanwhile, the child hears: the boss is such and such, colleagues are mediocre and lazy, the mother-in-law is generally honored with the juiciest epithets. And if the baby also witnessed a family quarrel …

What are we doing? A very simple rule works here: if I allow myself to scold someone, to lie, I cannot forbid others to do so … Children will definitely want to reward someone with the epithets they hear. Yes, perhaps the boss deserves impartial words, but the younger ones do not need to hear them at all. Ripped off the tongue? Explain why this happened. The day was difficult, fatigue accumulated, etc.

Important! Explaining your actions to children is a good practice. There is no need to justify this. Suppose she promised to return from work early and go to the park with the baby, but it didn’t work out. Calmly explain what’s holding you back. Say that you will go for a walk with him another day and next time, be sure to keep your promise.

Sometimes you can’t do without punishment. How to do it right? We look at the advice of a psychologist:

The child is in love! This news causes a whole range of feelings in parents: joy, tenderness, anxiety, indignation, and even fear. How to behave in such a situation?

“She is shy like a schoolboy, fell in love like a girl” – this is what they say about adults when emotions take over and a person loses his head from love. And the children themselves really do not know how to behave and what to do with the flow of these new and exciting feelings. It’s good if dad and mom can delicately support the lover. First of all, it will benefit your relationship with the child. Having met understanding, the child realizes that adults can be trusted with the innermost. Otherwise, it will simply close in on itself. And when there is trust, it is much easier to protect from mistakes or support in a difficult situation.

Baby talk about “feelings”

The first sympathy often arises at the age of five or six. The child singles out one person among his peers, in every possible way, attracts his attention, and wants to win friendship. At the same age, children begin to play family: Sasha is a dad and goes to work, Mila is a mom, babysits the kids, and cooks soup. This is just an interest in the world of adults, from where all these “marry Olya when I grow up” come from. But even at such a tender age, serious experiences happen, strong jealousy, resentment, and anger are possible.

How to be parents?

Help your child figure out how he feels. “I don’t understand what came over me,” the kid explains outbursts of anger or jealousy. And he really cannot understand why he threw away the gift to Olesya, which she did not take. The task of an adult is to explain why this is happening, to reassure. Do not be afraid to ask about the object of sympathy, the five-year-old will gladly tell you that Dima is the strongest and most cheerful (the kindest, always shares toys, etc.). And parents will be able to understand what qualities seem to the child the most attractive in people.

What not to do?

Do not focus on the romantic component. “Is Masha from the next group your bride?”, “Put on an elegant dress, because Seryozha, your fiancé, will come!” – such adult jokes translate emotions into the plane of schemes, but at the same time they do not tell anything about feelings. The child thinks that a certain behavior is expected of him, and even feels that his parents are not serious about him. Especially if conversations about brides and grooms are conducted in the presence of strangers.